My supervisor gave me an assignment and asked me to address two questions:
What is therapy?
What is a therapist’s role in therapy?
A while back, one of my coworkers said something about massage therapy. Inside my mind I thought, “Wait… massage therapy. Therapy isn’t a special word?? Is what I do therapy??What does therapy mean??” So I proceeded to look up the etymology of the word therapy. It’s a Latin medical word derived from Greek meaning, “the art of healing.” One of the sources defined it as; attend, do service, take care of – and that has become my life motto. Modern definitions state therapy is healing of a medical condition… treatment to heal or relieve a disorder. And that’s great. That’s a fantastic definition. But, in mental health, how? How is that done?
Relational Ontology
Therapy is a relationship. Yes, disorders are addressed. Absolutely, beliefs and thinking patterns are challenged. And hopefully, healing is achieved. But primarily, therapy is a relationship. If a layman asks me what counseling is, my most basic answer will be, “A relationship that creates space for healing.” My complicated answer would be, “A complicated interaction between client and counselor in which goals are set and accomplished by creating intersubjectivity, trust, acceptance, and respect.” And after giving each answer I would probably have an existential crisis as I would be sent into a spiraling thought about how important relationships are.
What is a therapist’s role? Well… just that. To attend. To do service. To take care of. To be a human and sit alongside of another human to help them heal and meet the goals they desire to meet. To accept. That’s probably the biggest role of a therapist; to accept a person just as they are and recognize that in their own unique and often times broken way, they are beautiful and wonderful just as they are.
I often reflect on my job and say, “I have a weird job.” It’s the weirdest thing yet so wonderfully normal. Relationships are intrinsic yet we’ve become so broken that they feel abstract. And my job is to relate. It’s the weirdest job and I kinda love it.
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